the circle of life

i cant say much...
I just hope that these bad people will learn their lesson n dibalas lebih hebat for what they have done to me.but, i just can sigh as i realize yg semua ini salah aku....
i am tired...
tired of being condemned 24/7..
do they think? berpikir pakai otak la...bukan pakai lutut!!!
pls think la wahai org hebat....
do you think i was enjoying myself when i was being asked sejuta kali about my past?
about my history..to be precise... .about my master?
come on..i already moved on...
we are talking about a new chapter or phase in my life..
why on earth you keep bringing up the matter?
I learnt my lesson....
You should advise..not condemn ...coz none of your words is helping meeeee..
NONE...
kata org kalo diam itu tak bermakna kalahhhhh..n yg bising itu yg menang..
I'm done with keeping my mouth shut hanya krn respects to senior....
I'm not doing things to impress you, or your your sake, reputation or what..
I'm doing and fighting for my future....
finish up what i have already started...yapppp..the path which i thought the best path 6 years agoo....

never again you will talk about my pastttttt.....
kerana pada masa itu, kala aku paling terasa akulah manusia yg paling teraniaya...
mungkin pada masa itu aku akan berdoa pada Allah agar berilah sehebat-hebat pengajaran pada mereka yg tega mengutuk aku...
kerana selama ini aku hanya berdia supaya Allah memberi aku kekuatan utk berperang dalam perjuangan ini....

dilemma

i feel like crying..
i dont know ..
people tend to treat me like i'm a slave n like i'm nobody...and you can simply make fun of me and my situation....as if i dont have any opinion, feelings n waterface.
treating me like i dont exist, but in the meantime, burden me with your things and works..
n of coz, the bad talkings u did..purposely or not..
i'm the one who have to shield myself from your mental tortures n bad comments..
like i'm a person with no feelings at all..i'm a human...
oh come on people...
if u dont like to stay n be around the people u hated the most, so do I ..
if u are not comfortable to be around the person who 24-7 bad mouthing n judging u, so do I..
then, why cant u understand my situation?
if the -ve auras are dominant than the +ve, why should i stay there?
if its beacuse of my job, then, i have to take the responsiblility, but dont simply look it as a chance for you to condemn myself if i lack the knowledge etc..
and pls try to understand others..
put yourself in their shoes....
i nearly lost faith that the world still have the good n kind hearted people..
after all this while, i thought i am strong enough to take the pressure...
n some how, those bad people will learn their lessons..
maybe i just need to be silent n accept all those wrong doings and the pain, and pray that the persons responsible will finally realize the bad things they have done to me n my life..
but, the thruth is, world n life just dont work that way..

the world nowadays

it has been a while...
yet i still have unfinished issues linger around me....
yep...i just need time to focus and recognize my priorities before i make any decisisons..its mostly regarding the future plans (doctorate studies etc)...and the impact of the decision to my life and family...
but what i want to share here is the sad story of my husband's best friend..
his marriage is about to fall apart....
it still in less than 5 years of their marriage life...
astagfirullah...
it is a shock to see such a loving couple ended to such situation..
where have the love and the understanding gone?
it has made me and my husband to more appreciate life..
we are praying for better tomorrow for both of them, but most of all, its their children that we are worried of...

to express myself n my thoughts

i've been browsing others blogs, fotoblogs etc..
it kind of hit me right to the head..
i have been in my world..
i didnt realize that other already shifted ..paradigm shift etc..
i mean
look at me..
it has been neraly 10 years that i left the formal english education..
just imagine the frozen mind n tougue..
that explained the low self confident that i had during the ielts class
but, hey, i scored the second or ranked the top highest in that class last sept 07..
tell me not to be that arrogant..i alwitz have to bear that in mind....keep improving, i must!!

i just hope that this anak itik comot will finilly be anakitik cerdik..

i'm new here..

hey, now i finally had the chance to express myself....

just to be me, myself

i'm taking this opportusnity to express myself, my emotions, my feelings, n my point of views...
actually, it is more on myself seeking for a space to polish my english...
let me begin with Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...